I’ve got some weird aspects of my personality I need to sort out. Since I was little, I’ve always pushed others to look into the things that I enjoy most. I tend to play the role of a missionary regarding anything I’m passionately into at the time. Over the years it’s gone from stuff like Dragon Ball, to Mixed Martial Arts to Idols. The odd thing is that when someone finally bites and begins having interest in what I’m exposing them too, I feel really jealous that they’re showing interest. It doesn’t make any sense but because it’s happened over my entire life, today on an uber home I gave it thought.
I’ve come to the realization that perhaps, I just really want to talk about the things I like to others. I like when there’s a mild curiosity coming from them– because it allows me to continue talking about the subject guilt free, but when there’s genuine intrigue I want them to drop the subject and forget about everything I’ve shown them. Today at work, I got partnered with a new employee. We’re alike, and despite being ten years his senior, have similar senses of humor, sarcastic one-liners and even birthdays. He caught me watching Morning Musume DVD Magazine videos and despite not knowing a word of Japanese, beyond “Mada Mada” due to Genji from Overwatch, he was highly entertained watching the girls go shopping and eating at a restaurant.
He kept asking to see more as the hours went by and eventually asked for all the information he needed to watch more when he got home. He also loved the music videos and concerts I showed him. With a result like that, I should be happy at the prospects of converting a mere boy into a wota-alpha dick slinger. Nowadays, I never get to speak to anyone about idols, but now I could, and with someone I’m working with full-time. Why must I feel jealous and protective over something that’s not “mine”? Why can’t I enjoy this development the way any normal person would?
Coming full circle, I remembered I ran a blog long abandoned somewhere on the web nobody ever read. I’d best come here to mumble to myself from now on; there’s far less danger of having to share things I love with others.